reactable

About Me;

Journal;



Ask me anything

I’ve been so many versions of myself these past few months;
I never imagined I would lost parts of me in the process.

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I’ve loved so many people
with so much intensity
that
I’ve forgotten how to love myself.

If that makes any sense.

It’s time to stop giving my love to people who do not want it, or do not deserve it; From now and on, I’ll keep it all to myself.

I do not think that’s a selfish thing to do, It’s the only logic decision.
After not being able to feel anything,
After feeling everything at once,
It is the only logic decision.

That doesn’t mean I will close myself to others, but rather, I’ll be more open to myself.

It is the only logic decision.

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rabbit hole;
Si los ojos son la ventana del alma, ¿Crees que hayan maravillas al final del agujero del conejo?
If the eyes are the windows to the soul, do you think there are wonders at the end of the rabbit hole?

rabbit hole;

Si los ojos son la ventana del alma, ¿Crees que hayan maravillas al final del agujero del conejo?

If the eyes are the windows to the soul, do you think there are wonders at the end of the rabbit hole?

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Here’s a little but important thing I’ve finally understood:

You can’t make someone have feelings for you, nor you can make yourself stop having feelings for someone.

The only thing you can control is your reaction towards their actions and inactions.

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asylum-art:

Torkil Gudnason: Body Vase

Agency Lookbooks | A. Galerie, Paris

Torkil Gudnason’s Body Vase juxtaposes flora with human curves, eroticism with innocence, and nature with it’s inherent beauty and allure. There is a quality of mysterious fascination within these images - they are charged with a charm that accompanies temptation. The soft, intimate lighting comes from shooting exclusively with daylight – and allows the viewer into a small, private world consisting only of photographer and model.

His images have drama and a sculptural quality that brings to mind the heft and simplicity of Henry Moore or Modigliani - “I  like distortion as a sculptural effect,” he says. 

Shot over a period of nine months, Body Vase brings together two passions for Torkil – flowers and the human form. It is remarkable that these images were created in-camera, with very little retouching – lending the increased power of authenticity to these images, and leaving us wondering at the beauty that exists within this world.

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It is an odd thing to me that the memories that play over and over again in my head aren’t those of us in the shower, or those us dancing, skin-tight.

All I ever see is you smiling, laughing, jumping, singing, dancing. Always joyous.

Today I opened my window and I immediately caught a trace your scent. I looked up, and there was the sunset, greeting me, making sure I didn’t forget you.

It scares the shit out of me that I love you this much, and the possibility of this not being love but some sort of obsession makes me quiver with fear.

Do I really love you, or am I just a clingly virgin? Such a cliché…
The funny thing is, you didn’t even take my virginity, you took something with real value… My innocence. 

Maybe that’s why I like so much being close to you, because that’s the only way I can make mine all the parts of me you took. At least for a little while.

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"Cuando estés triste, recuerda que para mí en tu voz vibran las rosas rosadas, el atardecer, y las noches estrelladas. Eso es suficiente para hacerme feliz."

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dismorfia

dismorfia

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mil soles;

No recuerdo nada antes del frío glacial, y lo que vino después ha sido tan frenético que se me hace difícil discernir qué ha sido real y qué ha sido un mecanismo de defensa de mi estropeada mente. Es duro sentir después de haber vivido tanto tiempo congelado; todo se torna endemoniadamente bello, y al mismo tiempo divinamente peligroso.


Los atardeceres ya no son una circunstancia ineludible de habitar en este planeta, sino vida, muerte, y resurrección en un performance único de treinta minutos. Las lágrimas, que se rehusaban a brotar por miedo a congelarse, ahora acarician mi rostro con frecuencia y se funden con la infinidad del océano para desaparecer. La felicidad y la tristeza, que se filtraban como un murmullo ahogado entre las capas de mi prisión helada, ahora se alternan en un agitado baile que no tiene coreografía definida… Pero aún más excitante y aterrador fue lo que descubrí en el momento en el que se derritió mi fortaleza escarchada: el amor.


El amor, esa fuerza que siempre me había sido ajena, ahora se siente como mil soles en mi pecho. Mil soles que dieron paso al miedo. Mil soles que evaporan toda el agua de este océano, aparentemente infinito, que mis lágrimas se encargan de volver a llenar. Mil soles que incineran mi carne humana, y queman a todo al que se acerca. Mil soles que engendran vida para luego destruirla. Mil soles que no puedo controlar.


A veces me gustaría volver al frío entumecedor y librarme de estos sentimientos que me atacan todos al mismo tiempo sin tregua alguna, pero estos mil soles no dejan de brillar, y mil soles ardientes son mejores que la gélida oscuridad, ¿Verdad?

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